A year and a half ago I made one of the hardest decisions of my life. I gave up my spot at one of the best journalism schools in the country to go to community college. My whole high school life was all focused on grades and GPA and AP classes and who was going to be in the top 5% of the class and that's all I knew. So for ME to go to community college; it felt so wrong. I felt like I was cheating myself. I know I can do better than that and push myself more than that. Even to this day it still pains me to have to tell people that I go there.
Most of my assumptions about the college were right. The people are their own unique breed. The classes are at or below high school level. We're in our last semester and some lady asked me how to turn on the gas stove in the kitchen. I saw one of my classmates at my sister's musical...because her daughter was in it. The cool hang out is the smoker's pavilion. Most people struggle with basic math skills.
But for as much as I didn't learn there, I learned a lot. About myself and about life. I met people who changed me and my perspective. I went to cross country nationals (lol). I learned that it's much more satisfying to do what you love and find out that you're kinda good at it, than do what you're good at and hope that you kinda like it.
Now in a few short weeks I will be graduating with an Associate's degree in Baking and Pastry Arts. And as much as I thought I wouldn't, I will miss that little place. I'll think about it sometimes and laugh. I know I'm moving on to bigger and better things. But I can leave saying that I'm happy that I went to Westmoreland County Community College. And that's good enough for me.
Friday, April 26, 2013
Monday, April 22, 2013
Terror
It started as the most looked forward day of the year,
continually cheering,
continually inspired as they run by.
we get a text. a bomb. disbelief spreads.
How? Our friends are there.
Panic.
Our friends are running.
Our friends should be crossing the line.
Speechless, I sit in a daze watching the news.
The news seems to be on repeat
As a talk to my dad, I feel the tears swell.
I know people there.
Why aren't they answering?
Texts roll in,
but not from the friends I am looking for,
people I haven't talked to in months reach out to me,
worried for my safety,
but I'm not the one in danger.
Why aren't they answering?
We huddle around the tv,
all we have is each other.
Finally, sighs of relief,
as one by one I hear of friend's safety.
But whoever did this is out there.
and people are hurt.
Innocent, strong and talented people,
their families weren't as lucky as me.
Rumors continue.
Will there be more?
Are we safe?
Should we leave?
More panic.
Civilian heroes emerge,
Boston doesn't back down.
The community remains strong.
-----------------------------------------
A week passes,
we get texts of lockdowns,
this time I am safe in North Carolina.
He is running,
just 19,
how could he induce this much terror?
Why would he induce this much terror?
Boston becomes a ghost town in search.
Boston remains strong,
forcing me to do the same.
Faith in my city,
Faith in my home.
House by house,
he is still running.
How can I focus,
when he is two miles from my friends?
I run for Boston.
I run for those who couldn't.
I keep my mind elsewhere.
The lockdown ends,
but he continues to run.
---------------------------------------
Finally.
good news.
Eyes glued to the TV once again,
my faith does not waver,
Boston is strong.
we got him.
alive.
God bless America,
There are not enough thank yous
that will suffice for our police
and the celebrations begin,
cheers nationwide,
Boston remains strong.
Wicked strong.
continually cheering,
continually inspired as they run by.
we get a text. a bomb. disbelief spreads.
How? Our friends are there.
Panic.
Our friends are running.
Our friends should be crossing the line.
Speechless, I sit in a daze watching the news.
The news seems to be on repeat
As a talk to my dad, I feel the tears swell.
I know people there.
Why aren't they answering?
Texts roll in,
but not from the friends I am looking for,
people I haven't talked to in months reach out to me,
worried for my safety,
but I'm not the one in danger.
Why aren't they answering?
We huddle around the tv,
all we have is each other.
Finally, sighs of relief,
as one by one I hear of friend's safety.
But whoever did this is out there.
and people are hurt.
Innocent, strong and talented people,
their families weren't as lucky as me.
Rumors continue.
Will there be more?
Are we safe?
Should we leave?
More panic.
Civilian heroes emerge,
Boston doesn't back down.
The community remains strong.
-----------------------------------------
A week passes,
we get texts of lockdowns,
this time I am safe in North Carolina.
He is running,
just 19,
how could he induce this much terror?
Why would he induce this much terror?
Boston becomes a ghost town in search.
Boston remains strong,
forcing me to do the same.
Faith in my city,
Faith in my home.
House by house,
he is still running.
How can I focus,
when he is two miles from my friends?
I run for Boston.
I run for those who couldn't.
I keep my mind elsewhere.
The lockdown ends,
but he continues to run.
---------------------------------------
Finally.
good news.
Eyes glued to the TV once again,
my faith does not waver,
Boston is strong.
we got him.
alive.
God bless America,
There are not enough thank yous
that will suffice for our police
and the celebrations begin,
cheers nationwide,
Boston remains strong.
Wicked strong.
Goodbye Stars: Thank You For The Light
Countless stars
With few in view
Ones that you
need
Will give light
to you
You will know
them
You will love
them
They will touch
you
They will leave
you
They came to you
On their
personal quest
Kept passing
through
Swirling to the
west
A Body in motion
Tends to stay in
motion
Nothing stays
frozen
Change knows no
emotion
Wind will run
Water will rush
Our Earth will
rotate
Your stars will swirl
Move with
elements
Amongst the
thrill
Dance with
change
Why would you
stand still?
Why would you wait
Until new stars find
you
Be the friend
those stars were to you
Keep their light
as something to look to
Dear Stars,
Thank you
I hope whom you
are with now
Loves you like I
do
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Present Moment
Our freedom, peace and joy in the present is the most important thing we have. We can't spend time anxious about the past or the future. We cannot live in fear. We must see that happiness is already around us. We must acknowledge and appreciate it. We must witness the miracle of impermanence, as that the world is constantly in motion. Nothing is the same, everything is changing. Appreciate and value these changes. Our happiness is in the present moment and we need to notice and treasure it.
Monday, April 8, 2013
filling out work papers
eagerly, carelessly
the pen flows its mundane way
I lay my agreement down hastily
nonchalantly I promise
I endorse the unknown paper
my signature sleeps on the thin black line
my vow sits dormant
my word
overdose rhyming
don't we all want connection
but we all fear rejection
don't we all have infection
but we search for perfection
don't we all need affection
but we receive correction
aren't we subject to inspection
but we make are own selections
we are all focused on our protection
but we all need reflection
before we can get that connection
but we all fear rejection
don't we all have infection
but we search for perfection
don't we all need affection
but we receive correction
aren't we subject to inspection
but we make are own selections
we are all focused on our protection
but we all need reflection
before we can get that connection
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
R.I.P. FRIENDS
our friendship was laid down to rest
it hurt me the most though i never confessed
if we all miss it then why did it quit
i have never had anything as good as we fit
you cannot know how much i needed you
and i don't want to search for anything new
because i have looked around and no one's like you
it hurt me the most though i never confessed
if we all miss it then why did it quit
i have never had anything as good as we fit
you cannot know how much i needed you
and i don't want to search for anything new
because i have looked around and no one's like you
The Bench Show
i look at that rust and chipped paint
and i wonder about the life that bench has had
i wish i could click a button and a television would appear
displaying every person creature and element
that ever meant something to that bench
how old are you bench?
it is a good thing that there isn't a television for this bench
because it is likely older than me and also older than i will be
and if i watched the whole show my life would be gone
maybe i will just wonder about my own life so i can keep mine
and i wonder about the life that bench has had
i wish i could click a button and a television would appear
displaying every person creature and element
that ever meant something to that bench
how old are you bench?
it is a good thing that there isn't a television for this bench
because it is likely older than me and also older than i will be
and if i watched the whole show my life would be gone
maybe i will just wonder about my own life so i can keep mine
Rescue
i gaze out my window hopefully
contemplating possibilities desperately
anticipating my long due rescue
deservingly
patiently
calmly
then all at once i realized
nobody is coming
nobody is going to come and save me
i have to save myself
Problems
where did they come from?
so many of them float around
some are on billboards and posters
for everyone to see
some bump into each other or overlap
but some sit alone, distant and unknown
where did they come from?
we made them ourselves.
so many of them float around
some are on billboards and posters
for everyone to see
some bump into each other or overlap
but some sit alone, distant and unknown
where did they come from?
we made them ourselves.
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