hi guys

i realize i haven't posted in a while, so i would like to take this time and give a shootout to the mail man! three cheers!

A Stitch in Time

Last year for my birthday my grandma took all of my old running shirts while I was at school and cut them up to make a quilt out of them. I've always wanted a quilt like that, but for some reason I was kind of hurt by her actions. I felt like she had gone through my diary without asking. I have a strong emotional connection with those shirts, as I'm sure most runners do. I think I was also distraught because she didn't have time to actually make the quilt so she just handed me a Walmart bag full of my torn up memories. She didn't even make them all the same sizes. Why would she not make them the same sizes? 

I still have the bag of t-shirt scraps in my closet. My grandma and I said we would get together and finish the quilt. But I have never made the time and she probably forgets about it and the bag of scraps gets pushed further and further into the shadowy back of my closet. The back of my mind. 

Sometimes when I run I forget where I came from. I forget how horrifyingly sucky I was. I forget 9/10 meets. I forget when my PR was 7:22 for the mile. I forget that defeated feeling you get when you're behind the rest of the pack and all you want to do is quit. I forget the pity cheers from your teammates. I forget the fast girls having to circle back around to pick you up because you fell behind...again. I forget a huge physical, mental and emotional building block of my life.

Today I found that bag of scraps. I'm still not sure if I'm over my grandma cutting them up. The poor woman didn't know she was cutting up my life. But finding that bag made me realize just how far I've come. How much I owe to running. I think I'll call my grandma and ask her when we can finally make the quilt. It's time to sew my life back together.

A Smile

A smile for the classmates who got me through the day

With a goodbye at graduation they won’t make it all the way.

A laugh at all the memories that will never fade,

I will never forget all the true friends I have made.

A sigh for the foolish drama made in the past few years,

Now I see that the arguments weren’t worth the tears.

A high five to the girls who worked with me all season long,

Through the grueling workouts, together we kept strong.

A hug for my family, we bicker but you always come to my aide,

At the end of the day there isn’t a single thing I would trade.

A nod to the ones who have hurt me for you have given me strength,

Realizing the people to keep close and those to keep at arms length.

An apology for the ones I have hurt and the mistakes I have made,

I am learning and fixing, truly sorry this came a bit delayed.

A wink for the boys of high school, time to say goodbye to your charm,

Sorry for the hurt, I never meant to do any harm.

A handshake for the people who have shaped who I am today,

A million thank yous will never seem like enough thanks to say.

A wave for the people stuck in this town, I hope you find a way

To chase your dreams and live life to the fullest every day.

I wrote this after high school and it has been trapped in my laptop for much too long. better late than never?

I actually got real advice from a cookie?

"The world is a beautiful book for those who read it" 
I got this message in a fortune cookie a while ago. I've kept it in my journal since then. Today I realized that I have been stuck on the same page for a while. Maybe even the same sentence. I don't do anything with my life really. There are so many more productive, exciting things I could do with my time, but I choose to do nothing. I just sit. And eat. I'm wasting my life waiting for my life to happen. It's stuck in my mind that when I get a real job and have a family, life will begin. But my life doesn't start then, it started nineteen years ago. I'm not reading the book that is the world, I'm just looking at the pictures. Skimming. It scares and concerns me. So I guess instead of spending my time ranting and blogging I should just go live my life now...